Archive for March, 2006

Tori Spelling Was Great In White Chicks

Friday, March 31st, 2006

Tori Spelling

Photo and punchline yanked from CityRag who yanked it from Fark. I’ve been avoiding writing anything about Tori Spelling because I just want her to go away, but this was too good to pass up.

Source: CityRag

Angelina Jolie -vs- Sandra Bullock

Friday, March 31st, 2006

An oldie but a goodie. Angelina Jolie versus Sandra Bullock from MTV’s Celebrity Death Match. Is that show still on?

Piper Perabo Is Sore

Friday, March 31st, 2006

Piper PeraboOr rather, Piper Perabo has a cold sore. Ouch. Who does this girl’s make-up? One word: CONCEALER. Eh, you’re right. She probably does her own make-up since her only claim to fame is that horrible but-I-still-watch-it-whenever-it-comes-on movie, Coyote Ugly. Girl, call me! I’ll do your make-up! I work cheap!

OH NOES! I just read on IMDB that Piper plays my husband’s (Christian Bale) wife in The Prestige! DON’T KISS HER, MY HUSBAND, YOU’LL CATCH SOMETHING!

Sometimes people are telling the truth when they say that girls have cooties. If you really want to see Piper’s cooties you can after the jump.

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Brad Pitt Is A Gun Slinger

Friday, March 31st, 2006

Brad as JesseWasn’t this just done not too long ago? With Colin Farrell as Jesse? Why yes, yes it was. I have an idea! If Brad Pitt and Colin Farrell are such fans of cowboy movies… why don’t the two of them hook up for Brokeback Mountain II??? Mmmm… man-love.

But who am I kidding, I’ll suffer through some pretty bad movies for a glimpse of Jennifer’s leftovers (Ocean’s Twelve anyone? blech!), and with the rumors that Brad shows some nekkie ass you know I’ll be front row center.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford‘ delves into the private life and public exploits of America’s most notorious outlaw. As the charismatic and unpredictable Jesse James plans his next great robbery, he wages war on his enemies, who are trying to collect the reward money — and the glory — riding on his capture. But the greatest threat to his life may ultimately come from those he trusts the most.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford‘ is supposed to be released some time this year. Three production photos after the hop skip and a jump.

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Naomi Campbell Is Mean

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Naomi CampbellSupermodel diva psycho bitch Naomi Campbell went crazy again, this time flinging a cell phone at her assistant’s head, sending her to the hospital according to police.

Campbell wound up at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan, fingerprinted and charged for second-degree assault, the latest in a long line of allegations by her employees.

This may be the first time that Naomi Campbell has been arrested for assault, but it’s not the first time that she’s been accused of it.

September 1998: Campbell is accused of punching a personal assistant and hitting her with a telephone. Campbell pleaded guilty and she was released without punishment or criminal record.

June 2000: Personal assistant/secretary accuses Campbell of attacking her. The case is dismissed.

February 2001: Campbell allegedly loses her temper when she is refused entry to a members-only boutique.

February 2001: Campbell scraps with a photographer outside her boyfriend’s home.

August 2004: Campbell’s housemaid accuses the model of kicking, scratching and slapping her.

September 2004: Former assistant files assault and battery charges in federal court, alleging Campbell held her hostage in a hotel. The case is dismissed.

March 2005: Campbell reportedly beats an assistant with a Blackberry during an argument. Her spokesman denies the accusation.

See photos of Campbell leaving the police station, SMILING and LAUGHING, after the jump.

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Gisele Bundchen Is Pretty

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Gisele BundchenGisele Bündchen recently unveiled the S/S 2006 Vogue eyewear advertisement campaign. I’m not a huge fan of the “bug-eyed” sunglasses look, but Gisele really couldn’t do much to make herself look ugly. The woman is a Goddess. Gisele Bündchen and Angelina Jolie are definitely at the top of my list of women I would “go lesbian for”. Gisele recently took the lead over Angelina because I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Angie’s really gotten fat lately.

More pictures of the Goddess herself after the jump.

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Ian McKellen Thinks Jake Gyllenhaal Is Rude

Thursday, March 30th, 2006


Ian McKellen has criticized Jake Gyllenhaal for being apprehensive about kissing his Brokeback Mountain co-star Heath Ledger.

I got very upset when one of the actors said it was the most terrifying job he’d ever had because it involved him kissing another man. Imagine how rude that is. Suppose I’d said the most appalling thing I ever to do was kiss Helen Mirren!

Ian Ian Ian… Jakey was only terrified because it was his first time kissing another man on screen. I think it’s safe to say that Jake has kissed plenty of men before and after the filming of Brokeback Mountain. That’s what my gaydar is telling me anyway. I’m actually surprised that Ian, considering his role as troll slaying Gandalf, isn’t more upset by the fact that Jake has been photographed kissing the biggest troll of them all, and more than once! Get your priorities straight at least, Ian.

Source: Starpulse

Tom Jones Is A Queen

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

Tom Jones

Tom Jones isn’t really a Queen. He’s a Knight. He was Knighted by a Queen. But you see how it was funny to say that Tom Jones is a Queen, yes?

‘It was lovely to see the queen again. I love seeing the queen and I have always been a royalist. She is lovely and she still is lovely’, he said.

The monarch, who will be 80 next month, remembered their first meeting at a Charity concert in 1966, Sir Tom revealed.

‘She said to me that I had given a lot of people a lot of pleasure’, said Sir Tom, best-known for hits as ‘It’s Not Unusual’, ‘Delilah’, ‘What’s New, Pussycat?’ and ‘Green, Green Grass Of Home.’

It’s too early for me to point out the sexual innuendos, but they’re there.

Source: Monsters and Critics, CBS

Mariah Carey Has Pubic Hair

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

Mariah CareyI have no idea how old these pictures of Mariah Carey are or where they were taken or if they are even real… but I think the obvious answer is that they are real and were taken by her gay assistance (because he was so proud of the perfect landing strip he had shaved for her) just before she used her heel to kick him out of the limo shrieking “Where is my cheeseburger???”

One more after the jump.

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Brad Pitt Likes Tag Heuer

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

Brad Pitt in Tag

I don’t know if Brad Pitt actually likes Tag Heuer watches, but here is the latest Tag Heuer advertisement featuring Angelina Jolie’s baby-daddy.

I find this advertisement to be missing the appropriate amount of airbrushing upon Dad Brad’s fine lines, but I still think that he’s a god amoung men.