Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth have been together for a long time. They make such a cute and sexy couple. But no engagement ring yet? No wedding bells in the Bloomworth’s future? Maybe just straight to baby a la Brangelina? The Bloomworth baby would take an easy second place as Most Beautiful Baby In The World.

Here are Orlan and Kate at a recent dinner together. Kate must have helped dress Orlando because he’s not wearing some goofy hat or scarf. Be sure and check out Orly in Pirates of the Caribbean sometime in May. And be sure and check out Kate in Superman Returns also due out sometime in May.

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I have no idea who Kelly Brook is other than Billy Zane’s really hot girlfriend. According to AskMen.com Kelly is a very well known English model. I don’t really care who she is. What’s important here is that she trots about tropical beaches topless.

………and puts her face into her boyfriend’s lap at random moments.

Is Billy Zane famous anymore? The last thing I can remember seeing him in was Titanic. Now that’s sad. He’s a hottie and should be in more (good) movies. He should buff up a bit first though.

There are 22 pictures after the jump. See Miss Kelly do a hand stand on the beach, swim topless, put her face in Billy’s lap, lounge topless… basically just a lot of bare, yummy, natural breasticle goodness.

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Violet Affleck and Henry Klum (I know that’s not his real name, but I was too lazy to look it up) have good parents. Why? Mainly because their parents are not Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck recently rushed their little girl, Violet Anne, to a medical center when she seemed to be having trouble breathing. See? They didn’t wait until six days later, Britney! If your baby falls or is in any other way in distress, go to a hospital!

Violet seems to be okay but it is reported that she will have further testing done.

As for Henry Klum, his parents appear very hands on, and again, his parents are not Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. I hope that Miss Heidi is back for Project Runway 3.

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Sigh. Katie Holmes hasn’t given birth afterall. It was speculated that since Katie wasn’t seen shopping or drinking coffee for a few days that she must have popped, but alas. Just how selfish is she? Give birth already! Share your joy with the rest of the world! We’re waiting!

Katie emerged yesterday after a brief hiatus, looking bigger than ever, to shoe shop at Barney’s. Is buying shoes whilst nine months preggers wise? Don’t your feet swell up and shit? I suppose it doesn’t matter since for one, she has the money to keep buying more if her pregnancy shoes stop fitting, and two, since shopping seems like therapy for poor Katie she should do what makes her happy.

Pics of her riviting shopping experience after the jump. (She’s huge.)

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How many more times is Britney Spears and her retarded husband, Kevin Federline, going to hurt and or endanger their baby before someone does something about it? They’ve been questioned by the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) twice now. They should be forced to attend parenting classes or something.

Britney Spears’s seven-month-old son, Sean Preston, fell and hit his head on Saturday, April 1, at the Malibu home the pop star shares with husband Kevin Federline, a source close to Spears tells PEOPLE.

While the baby’s nanny was lifting him from his high chair, something snapped in the chair and Sean Preston slipped from her arms and fell to the floor, bruising his head.

A doctor came to the house that day and examined the child; he seemed fine.

But six days later, Spears and Federline became concerned and took Sean Preston to Santa Monica-UCLA Medical Center to have him checked out, the source adds. No serious problems were found.

Spears, Federline and their son are back home and doing fine now, a second source tells PEOPLE.

A wise person once told me that if you bleach or color your hair, you must be responsible enough to maintain the look as the roots will begin growing in and repeat treatment will be necessary. And if you can’t be responsible for yourself and your hair, you shouldn’t be responsible for another human being. Obviously Britney Spears isn’t responsible for her roots or her child.

Source: People

Don’t miss Tom Cruise on Primetime tomorrow night! It’s gonna be craaaazy! Maybe I’ll do some “live blogging” just for the fun of it.

But the bigger story is… has Katie Holmes already given birth?!?!? She hasn’t gone out for coffee, she hasn’t gone out shopping, so did she push out the little TomKitten within the last couple of days??? Only time will tell…

Reports from Wednesday say that Katie Holmes is now missing in action, no longer emerging from the Cruise compound. That has brought speculation that the fabulous Katie Holmes may have already given birth within the estate.

Tom Cruise enjoys a “spectacular” sex life with his pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes, because they have such good communications skills. The Hollywood actor reveals his sex secrets in the May (06) issue of GQ magazine.

Katie Holmes, with only days to go before the arrival of baby Holmes-Cruise, is “out of her mind with worry” about the upcoming Scientology birth. To make matters worse, Cruise has been trotting the globe and playing with his very expensive toys.

Tom Cruise claims he knew fiancée Katie Holmes was pregnant even before she told him. He told America’s GQ magazine: “I just picked something up. I knew at that moment that she was pregnant.”

That last quote cracks me up. Uhm… Tom, if you weren’t wearing a condom and you didn’t bust your nut on Katie’s face or boobies, you aren’t that much of a genius for figuring out that she must be preggers.

Annnnnnnd scene:

Tom Cruise walks into bathroom. Notices the TP roll is low and so reaches in the cabinet for a new one before baking brownies. Notices new box of tampons is still unused. Picks up box.

Nine months later during an interview: “I just picked something up. [box of tampons] I knew at that moment that she was pregnant.”

/end scene

Source: National Ledger, Contact Music, Post Chronicle, Life Style Extra

Cameron Diaz doesn’t want you to see pictures of her naked, but she has no problem wearing super low rise hip huggers, then conveniently beeeeending over to “pick something up” (uh huh, we aren’t fooled), and then OOPS! Her pink thong pokes out for the world to see. And photograph. Well played, Cameron. Well played indeed.

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From the genuises at Go Fug Yourself (I really do love and admire those girls!) comes “The Jessifugcation of Ashlee”. Or “Assica”. LOL!

Okay, either Joe Simpson really hates Ashlee and wants to pretend she’s Jessica, or he thinks Jessica is so early 2000s and is all set to replace her. Either way, his youngest child is inching ever closer to being able to assume the duties of Jessica Simpson should it be deemed that Jessica Simpson is unable to or incapable of performing them. [I personally feel that day has long passed us by, but Joe Simpson did not ask my opinion, so we're still stuck with her for now.]

At any rate, check out Assica at an appearance in Australia:

Long blond and wavy extensions, orange skin, signature pose, shrinking body that leads to a more dominant, prominent chin… all the hallmarks of Jessica are there. Assica has even chucked her punk clothes for something that looks ripped off from her sister’s wardrobe.

Read the rest and other very, very funny entries at Go Fug Yourself.

While speaking during a press conference last week, Desperate Housewives slut Teri Hatcher broke down when recalling painful memories of being a child abuse victim. Hatcher came forward about her own experiences at the hands of her uncle when a 14 year old victim of her uncle’s behaviour killed herself in 2002. Aware that he may get off scot free Hatcher contacted the prosecutors.

So good for her but… Omigawd she’s melting!!! The tears are running lines straight down her face through the foundation and concealer and powder, acccck! Thank goodness she must have been wearing waterproof mascara. I really hope that Teri is in counseling of some kind. She obviously needs it, the poor dear.

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Britney Spears is in trouble with the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) again concerning the safety of her seven-month-old son, Sean Preston. Is anyone really surprised by this? First Britney was photographed driving her SUV with baby SP in her lap, and now she’s been accused of allowing a week to pass by before her child saw a doctor after he took a nasty fall out of his high chair.

Britney must have a serious problem operating belts and locks.

On April 7, when Britney Spears and Kevin Federline realized that their baby, Sean Preston, had been sleeping more than usual, panic bells went off. Just six days earlier, the 7-month-old had taken a major fall from his high chair, a tumble that had his parents worried that he might have been critically injured.

They had every right to fret. After rushing Sean to a nearby hospital, they discovered he had a minor skull fracture (sometimes called a “scalp fracture” in babies), and a blood clot. And the doctors weren’t the only ones to take notice! The next day, the Department of Children and Family Services began looking into the incident.

THE FALLOUT
The Spears-Federline clan escaped disaster, but not their obligation to explain themselves to the authorities. On April 8, L.A. sheriff’s deputies arrived at Britney’s Malibu home to investigate a child-abuse claim against Britney and Kevin in relation to the head injury. Such an investigation isn’t unusual. According to California law, whenever a baby is brought into the hospital with a serious injury, the Department of Children and Family Services is alerted.

Source: Star Magazine