Katie Holmes finally popped today!!! The TomKitten has entered the world! I wonder if Tom Cruise ate the placenta? (I hope everyone realizes that statement was false.)

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have welcomed their first child together, two inside sources have told PEOPLE.

No other details are immediately available.

In late October, barely six months into their romance, an ecstatic Cruise and Holmes revealed that they were expectant parents.

As for marriage, Cruise and Holmes plan to tie the knot soon, Cruise said on the German TV program Wetten, dass..? on April 1. “In summer we want to get married. I won’t let this woman get away.”

Immediately ahead for the new dad: the May 5 release of Mission: Impossible 3. Holmes stars in the recently released satirical film about Washington politics, Thank You for Smoking.

Source: People

Defamer just put up a video of Tom Cruise using a Blackberry to talk back and forth with Katie Holmes during his “Primetime” interview. Diane Sawyer did not look amused.

Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth have been together for a long time. They make such a cute and sexy couple. But no engagement ring yet? No wedding bells in the Bloomworth’s future? Maybe just straight to baby a la Brangelina? The Bloomworth baby would take an easy second place as Most Beautiful Baby In The World.

Here are Orlan and Kate at a recent dinner together. Kate must have helped dress Orlando because he’s not wearing some goofy hat or scarf. Be sure and check out Orly in Pirates of the Caribbean sometime in May. And be sure and check out Kate in Superman Returns also due out sometime in May.

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I have no idea who Kelly Brook is other than Billy Zane’s really hot girlfriend. According to AskMen.com Kelly is a very well known English model. I don’t really care who she is. What’s important here is that she trots about tropical beaches topless.

………and puts her face into her boyfriend’s lap at random moments.

Is Billy Zane famous anymore? The last thing I can remember seeing him in was Titanic. Now that’s sad. He’s a hottie and should be in more (good) movies. He should buff up a bit first though.

There are 22 pictures after the jump. See Miss Kelly do a hand stand on the beach, swim topless, put her face in Billy’s lap, lounge topless… basically just a lot of bare, yummy, natural breasticle goodness.

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Violet Affleck and Henry Klum (I know that’s not his real name, but I was too lazy to look it up) have good parents. Why? Mainly because their parents are not Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck recently rushed their little girl, Violet Anne, to a medical center when she seemed to be having trouble breathing. See? They didn’t wait until six days later, Britney! If your baby falls or is in any other way in distress, go to a hospital!

Violet seems to be okay but it is reported that she will have further testing done.

As for Henry Klum, his parents appear very hands on, and again, his parents are not Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. I hope that Miss Heidi is back for Project Runway 3.

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Don’t miss Tom Cruise on Primetime tomorrow night! It’s gonna be craaaazy! Maybe I’ll do some “live blogging” just for the fun of it.

But the bigger story is… has Katie Holmes already given birth?!?!? She hasn’t gone out for coffee, she hasn’t gone out shopping, so did she push out the little TomKitten within the last couple of days??? Only time will tell…

Reports from Wednesday say that Katie Holmes is now missing in action, no longer emerging from the Cruise compound. That has brought speculation that the fabulous Katie Holmes may have already given birth within the estate.

Tom Cruise enjoys a “spectacular” sex life with his pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes, because they have such good communications skills. The Hollywood actor reveals his sex secrets in the May (06) issue of GQ magazine.

Katie Holmes, with only days to go before the arrival of baby Holmes-Cruise, is “out of her mind with worry” about the upcoming Scientology birth. To make matters worse, Cruise has been trotting the globe and playing with his very expensive toys.

Tom Cruise claims he knew fiancée Katie Holmes was pregnant even before she told him. He told America’s GQ magazine: “I just picked something up. I knew at that moment that she was pregnant.”

That last quote cracks me up. Uhm… Tom, if you weren’t wearing a condom and you didn’t bust your nut on Katie’s face or boobies, you aren’t that much of a genius for figuring out that she must be preggers.

Annnnnnnd scene:

Tom Cruise walks into bathroom. Notices the TP roll is low and so reaches in the cabinet for a new one before baking brownies. Notices new box of tampons is still unused. Picks up box.

Nine months later during an interview: “I just picked something up. [box of tampons] I knew at that moment that she was pregnant.”

/end scene

Source: National Ledger, Contact Music, Post Chronicle, Life Style Extra

From the genuises at Go Fug Yourself (I really do love and admire those girls!) comes “The Jessifugcation of Ashlee”. Or “Assica”. LOL!

Okay, either Joe Simpson really hates Ashlee and wants to pretend she’s Jessica, or he thinks Jessica is so early 2000s and is all set to replace her. Either way, his youngest child is inching ever closer to being able to assume the duties of Jessica Simpson should it be deemed that Jessica Simpson is unable to or incapable of performing them. [I personally feel that day has long passed us by, but Joe Simpson did not ask my opinion, so we're still stuck with her for now.]

At any rate, check out Assica at an appearance in Australia:

Long blond and wavy extensions, orange skin, signature pose, shrinking body that leads to a more dominant, prominent chin… all the hallmarks of Jessica are there. Assica has even chucked her punk clothes for something that looks ripped off from her sister’s wardrobe.

Read the rest and other very, very funny entries at Go Fug Yourself.

While speaking during a press conference last week, Desperate Housewives slut Teri Hatcher broke down when recalling painful memories of being a child abuse victim. Hatcher came forward about her own experiences at the hands of her uncle when a 14 year old victim of her uncle’s behaviour killed herself in 2002. Aware that he may get off scot free Hatcher contacted the prosecutors.

So good for her but… Omigawd she’s melting!!! The tears are running lines straight down her face through the foundation and concealer and powder, acccck! Thank goodness she must have been wearing waterproof mascara. I really hope that Teri is in counseling of some kind. She obviously needs it, the poor dear.

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Charlize Theron, who has said she will not marry hotty Stuart Townsend until gays can marry too, was honored for her support at the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) Awards. Theron won an Oscar in 2003 for her portrayal of lesbian serial killer Aileen Wuornos in ‘Monster’ and somehow dressing up real ugly when you’re drop dead gorgeous always scores you a statue.

What makes this interesting is that while Charlize was up on stage she had her ass grabbed by a woman twice her size. Then Charlize proceded to grab the woman’s ass in return. Hot stuff I assure you. Too bad that wasn’t Carmen Electra grabbing Charlize’s ass. Then Charlize would begin spanking Carmen and calling her a bad girl, and Carmen would reach back and pull Charlize’s hair. Mmmm…

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Sorry, I know that image is creepy but I couldn’t help myself. Not much Tomkat news over the weekend and this is a slow gossip/news day. People are basically recycling Tomkat news now until the baby pops.

Katie Holmes has been banned from speaking to her baby for a week after it is born. The pregnant actress has agreed not to talk to her new arrival, believed to be a girl, for at least seven days after she has entered the world.

It seems that the sky is not the limit when it comes to Tom Cruise proclaiming his love for fiancée Katie Holmes, for he has now christened the 63-year-old P51 Mustang airplane after her.

Tom Cruise wears a casio watch in Mission Impossible 3. Cruise’s character is more rough and tumble and he will be wearing the Casio G-Schock MTG-910D.

Actor/funny-man Will Ferrell stars in a new film called ‘Talladega Nights’ where Tom Cruise is the punchline.

Source: Life Style Extra, Newind Press, Luxist, Post Chronicle

Image via: Tomkat Crazy